Stage Freight

Writing this, I am admittedly SO far from where I intended to be with this blog.

I was so excited and proud to release that first post and announce Dear Remi,

It was like a weight being lifted and pure joy fluttering within as I finally pursued this deep passion of mine.

Yet, here we are almost 5 weeks after that post and I am writing my next one..

Actually

I have written at least 8 other posts besides this one.

But fear crept in, the way that it does…

And started planting doubt in my mind.

You sound like you’re whining.

Is that really significant enough to follow up your big debut?

No one will want to read this one.

Wow

Why do we think it’s okay to talk to ourselves like this?

I would never say that to my best friend while they were pursuing a passion. Shoot, I would never say that to anyone.

Instead I would tell my best friend, or the stranger on the other side of the words that I was reading how

Brave they are for sharing their words

How

Awesome it was to not feel so alone in certain thoughts

Or

How their vulnerability brought me to tears because my struggles have felt so isolating as well.

All of this ranting is simply to say, I am no longer speaking to myself with such ridicule.

You may come on here and LOVE and relate so closely to my post.

Or I may flounder here and there for a while as I learn and grow.

That is simply okay.

So welcome to my beautiful chaos.

It’s messy, it’s silly, it’s scary.. but it’s real.

It’s vulnerable.

And I think we all need a place to just be free from holding it all in.